no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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