I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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