Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
