I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
