i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
