I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
