And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize