It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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