I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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