The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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