If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
