she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
