He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
