She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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