smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
