that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
