You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
