we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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