I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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