Dual....:-)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
