how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
