lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
