I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
