Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
