i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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