Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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