I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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