Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
