I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
