I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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