Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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