I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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