You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
