You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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