I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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