he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
