So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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