do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
