Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
