we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
