At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She's like a pop up book from hell.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
