**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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