i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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