I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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