did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
