Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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