i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He has the fingertips of a God
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