and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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