You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
