Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
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