im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
