At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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