yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
