So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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