Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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