It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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