Umm I'm too high to move.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
