What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
