Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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