A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
