Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
