just tell him i said nine months
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
