Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
