Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently you make a good broom.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
