please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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