$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
