You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
